


Nightmare

by AKF_orever, bestGuesses



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Comfort, Cuddling Castiel/Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Soft Castiel (Supernatural), Soft Dean Winchester, light saileen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-30 20:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17835620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKF_orever/pseuds/AKF_orever, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestGuesses/pseuds/bestGuesses
Summary: Dean has nightmares every night, almost to the point where they are unbearable. Castiel is always willing to help, after all, they do share a "more profound bond."





	Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read this. id just like to thank the lovely AKF_orever for taking the time out of their day to edit this, and @maxlovesmisha on twitter for the idea! hope you enjoy!

Dean was used to having nightmares, he had always been. The nightmares varied through the years- his mother burning on the ceiling, what John would do to Sam if he wasn't there, having to burn the body of his father. At best, the nightmares were manageable, and at worst, they would keep him up all night, wheezing and sobbing.

Things changed when he went to hell.

In his 30 years there, Dean realized he had no clue what true pain was. Hooks stabbed through his freckled skin. He was torn apart only to be put back together and have the entire process repeated. As soon as he was out? He had to live through the world almost ending, his own brother being tortured in the same way he had been, and countless deaths.

A full night's sleep was unknown to him unless he was forcefully knocked out.

He never told anyone about it, but Sam knew. Sam would have them too, to a much lesser extent, but enough to understand. Dean never accepted help from him, too afraid of worrying him. He had made it his duty to protect his little brother, and worrying him was the very last thing he wanted to do. Eventually, Sam gave up on his constant efforts to get Dean help. He just stopped pointing out the redness of his brother's eyes or the tremble at any loud noises in the morning.

Then, Castiel came along.

It took a long time for Dean to get used to having an angel around. Knowing that Cas was the one who saved him from years of torture once he was topside was definitely helpful, but it took years for Dean to properly trust Cas. One of the first big steps was letting Castiel watch over him as he slept. He outwardly told Cas to stop, but they had a silent understanding that it was best for both of them. Castiel's mere presence was enough to calm him.

Occasionally, on especially bad nights, Dean would wake up to Cas' warm hand gently running through his hair as he sat next to Dean on the bed. They never spoke, Cas just lulled him back to sleep with gentle touches. As Dean had to live through more terrors, the nightmares escalated. After seeing Castiel die at the hands of Lucifer so suddenly, Dean knew a part of him broke. Something was different that time, something he couldn't quite place.

Was it how quickly it happened?

The stress of everything else?

The loss of Crowley, too?

He wasn't sure, all he knew was it haunted him at night. Where there was once a warm body sitting next to him, keeping him safe, was the chilly midnight air. Security and safety were replaced by the cold and empty.

Dean couldn't stand it.

Out of all of the torture he had endured, that had certainly managed to place the top 10. Even Sam struggled to keep it together, especially with the death of Eileen. Dean always knew his younger brother was much stronger mentally than he could ever hope to be, and watching him in such a deep state of mourning hurt him more than Sam could ever imagine. Dean lost his will, his hope to do good. How could he do good when the best thing in his life (besides Sam) was gone?

When Castiel came back, Dean had never felt more complete in his life. The angel wasn't dead for very long, but it was hardest period he had faced. Caring for Jack was also difficult, given how the kid looked just like a younger Cas.

Dean persevered, but barely.

Cas noticed a difference the night he returned. Dean thrashed around much worse than usual, pleading and whimpering. When Castiel sat at his normal spot on Dean's bed, Dean immediately clung to him desperately. His presence helped, but Cas still saw a few silent tears roll down his cheeks. For the first week after Cas returned, he would wait in his own room until Sam was asleep before sneaking off to Dean, where he would spend most of the night. Once Dean was around an hour from waking, he'd make his way back to his own room and listen carefully for screaming.

The fourth day of that week-long period was when Castiel realized how truly badly his death had affected Dean. Not even 10 minutes after he had made his way back to his own room, he could hear Dean's calls for him through the thick bunker walls. He had to force himself not to return in fear of Dean waking up and freaking out over Cas being in his room, so for the next 3 days he spent that last agonizing hour listening to Dean's desperate cries.

Day 8 was when he broke. Dean was awake later than usual, and Cas stayed with him. Sam had retreated to his room half an hour prior, leaving the two of them alone in the study.

"I'm headin' to bed, g'night Cas," Dean stated in his sleepy gruff voice, standing and stretching as he turned to walk back to his room.

"Wait-" Cas began. Dean paused and turned around to face him.

"Yeah, Cas?" He asked. Cas swore he saw some new emotion flicker across his face at his words but thought nothing of it.

"Maybe I should spend the night in your room. You've gotten somewhat loud lately..." Castiel trailed off, staring at his shoes upon the sexual implications of his words. Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Do I need a gag or somethin'?" He winked. Cas rolled his eyes but couldn't fight the slight upturn of his lips.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just believe you've been having a hard time lately and could use the company. You can always decline Dean. I don't want to make you uncomfortable-" He began rambling. Dean simply rolled his eyes and grabbed his wrist.

"Just c'mon. You spend most of the night in there anyway," Dean stated as he began dragging Cas to his room. Upon realizing that Dean likely remembered many of the nights Cas had entered his room to comfort him, he couldn't help but stumble a bit. When they entered the room, Dean began to stare at him.

"I need to change, buddy," He stated. Cas thought for a moment before muttering an "oh!" and turning around. There was some shuffling, and eventually, he was granted permission to turn back around. He stood there awkwardly, wondering what the protocol was for situations like that. He decided that staying still was his best course of action. Dean stared at him like he was an idiot for a moment before getting fed up and patting the bed next to him.

"Are you sure Dean? I don't want to make you u-"

"Just sit the hell down, Cas. I'll be fine. I wouldn't ask you to do this if I was uncomfortable with it," Dean cut the angel off. Cas slowly made his way over to Dean and sat down. In return, he was given a small smile as Dean curled around his body, just enough to make sure Cas couldn't move.

"G'night Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

That cycle repeated for a while. Dean and Castiel would stay up until Sam was in his own room before retreating to Dean's. Every night Castiel would sit on the edge of the bed and let Dean snuggle up to him. Although Dean would never admit it, he craved the attention. One-night stands were only a temporary relief, and they never filled the personal desire for comfort. Cas was glad to take that position, so it became a routine. Eventually, they stopped caring whether Sam saw them and just left together. Cas was sure that at some point, Sam had pulled his brother aside to discuss them both going to Dean's room, and he was also sure that Dean brushed it off.

Dean seemed to prefer brushing things off rather than facing them, hence why the massive mountain of tension between them had never been addressed. That tension fluctuated constantly, whether it was the days where they couldn't seem to stand each other, or the too-short hugs that left them both wanting more, or the late nights where Castiel could hear Dean's "prayers" and just had to pray he wouldn't find himself in the room with him. It seemed nighttime was the only time they could let their guards down and be close to each other.

As time passed, however, just sitting next to Dean stopped being enough. The thrashing started once more, as did the silent cries. Cas really tried his best to keep Dean calm, but it became a struggle. He tried as much as he could without crossing Dean's boundaries- talking to him, grabbing onto his hands, even running his hands up and down Dean's bare arms. It helped, but it wasn't enough. He hated to watch Dean struggle, it was like his own personal hell. As the nights got worse, Castiel finally addressed the elephant in the room.

The night started out normal. They both went to Dean's room and Cas turned around as he changed. When granted permission to return to the bed, he finally spoke up.

"This isn't enough anymore, Dean. You and I both know it," Cas finally said, "I can't do anything more without crossing your boundaries. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Dean. Maybe you should try something else, I'm not helping you enough anymore."

Dean remained silent before letting out a loud sigh. He sat up slowly and turned to sit next to Cas, close enough that their sides were touching. He turned to him, a weak smile adorning his face.

"You really haven't gotten any of what I've been doing, have you?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head in clear confusion, and so Dean opened his phone to his calendar.

"What are you doing, Dean?"

"I just want to remember the day I finally got the balls to do this," He said before leaning in and kissing him. Cas was in shock, but reciprocated the action anyway. He grabbed onto Dean's arm to steady himself, even though they were both sitting and in no danger of falling. When Dean slipped his tongue into Cas' mouth, he couldn't help but smile into the kiss and curl his fingers in Dean's hair. The kiss ended all too soon when Dean pulled away, an unrecognizable expression on his face. His gaze turned to his lap and he had a small smile on his face.

"I've been wanting to do that for years," He chuckled. Cas sat there in a strange concoction of awe and confusion, raising a hand to gently touch his own lips.

"You have?" Cas questioned, turning his glance to Dean, who in turn nodded. Cas then shook his head, a smile matching the one on Dean's face taking over his features.

"Is something wrong? I'm sorry if I freaked you out, Cas," He began to rush his words out, clearly terrified by Cas' reaction.

"No, it's just...  _finally_ ," He chuckled, running a hand through his messy hair, "I was always too afraid to do that myself so... thank you."

"Oh," Dean replied intelligently before laughing to himself, "For how long?"

"When I raised you out of hell... I wasn't lying when I said we had a more profound bond, Dean. I've always loved you, I just always thought it was unrequited."

"I'm so stupid. You're telling me we could have been celebrating a 10 year anniversary by now?" He laughed. Cas nodded with a huff.

"What's Sam going to think?" He asked.

"He's kind of thought we were already together, he just never talked about it. We can tell him for real in the morning. For now, get changed."

"What do you mean?" Cas questioned.

"Do you want to share a bed or not? Because I'm not about to let you get in my bed with a suit on."

"I don't own anything else, Dean."

"Then borrow something of mine, I don't care."

Cas changed into some of Dean's pajamas, standing awkwardly at the end of the bed. When Dean scooted over and patted the space next to him, it took him a minute to get into the bed, having to crawl under the covers that were so tightly wound from Dean's restless sleep. When he was finally there, he flipped onto his side to face Dean, who then decided to face the other way and snuggled back into him, their bodies drawing a line of warmth and intimacy. Castiel wrapped an arm over Dean's body instinctually and rested his head in the crook of his neck. When Dean finally fell asleep, Cas stayed there, awake and watching over him all night.

After that, Castiel moved into Dean's room and every night they'd fall asleep together, and every night, Dean slept peacefully in Cas' arms.


End file.
